Changes - Sam Flomenhoft

Over the past few years this planet has seen an increase in the amount of people identifying as "homosexual" which has created much controversy throughout the world. This could be a problem for our whole society because its not natural. They won't be able to have their own children and therefore won't be able to contribute to our overpopulation of the world. Also, eventually if they grow to be too many they will overtake our society and force us to switch from being heterosexual to homosexual and we can't allow that to happen. The only reasonable option here is to give them the option of becoming "straight" or being enslaved. This way we can convert some to our side and suppress the others.  This will also bring us back to the glory days of the United States, before the Civil War when we had free labor. At the same time that this fixes the homosexual problem, enslaving them will also stimulate the economy, eventually solving the market woes we've had since 2008, when the homo-lover Obama took office (coincidence? I think not, and George Bush had nothing to do with it!) Some of you may be skeptical because you think gay people aren't strong enough for physical labor but who said it has to be physical labor? We can turn them into enslaved fashion experts or interior decorators (which will further stimulate the clothing industry and create an economical boom). In the end I offer this solution not as a homophobe, but as a true patriot, who is looking out for the good of my country. If we all unite in the War on Homosexualism, we can win it before it gets out of control.