The Future - Emily Salamanca

                   I'm doing this as early as I can, because I know I will study more the closer AP tests come into my schedule. I don't feel like the year is ending, either because I would be forced to admit that (a) I am in fact a junior and the future is coming fast and (b) that AP tests season is upon us and there is no stress. I can't say I believe either. In terms of successes, I don't feel like I've had any. As terrible as it sounds, I just haven't done much that warrants a huge success party. I haven't taken any of my tests. I refuse to look at my ACT score because I'm scared of how low it is. I have the majority of importance of the year left, so I feel that I can't justify any good feelings I have. I'm not done. Nothing is finalized. My failures are more plentiful than any blog post can take in. Over the year, I have not taken certain classes seriously enough and embraced others with such a ferocity that I've neglected myself. I think my biggest failure is probably that I haven't had any major successes. I'm not special in any way. I'm just kind of here. However, I've learned lessons that I hope will guide me into college. I've learned how to study well and take better care of myself. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, which is helpful because it means that my feelings are legitimate. I'm too scared of everything and the fear sometimes runs my life. I do not know what constitutes a 'mistake' over a failure. To me, they seem too interrelated. This summer, I think I will going to camp, attending GSP, and perhaps traveling around. In senior year, I just want to keep up the same motivation I have this year and improve myself overall. I'm taking 6 AP classes again next year to (hopefully!) keep me in line. I will reach my goals with hard work. You don't really have to be smart. You just have to work hard to be successful.